We are seven weeks away from your debut on the biggest stage we know. I think Mom and I are freaking out a little bit, but for different reasons. Your mother, Amanda, is worrying more on the after-you-come-out side of things. “Will I be a good mom? Will I have the patience my mother had? Will I enjoy breast-feeding? Does having the baby feel good? Do we have enough money to support another human being? How will our marriage hold up? Why did Eve have to eat that apple and punish us all with birthing pains?!?!!” Other than a little stressing recently, your mom has been the best pregnant woman ever. She doesn’t really get sick, she isn’t a complainer, she is still very active, she still finds energy for other people, she hasn’t had any mood swings, and she is even more beautiful than before.
I have been stressing more about the preparation- getting the house in order before you arrive, having the best pediatrician picked out, having all house construction-related projects done before you come. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly nervous about your birth, but overall, I am just excited. More so, what kind of dad am I going to be?
Feelings are a interesting thing, right? Is it really just biological? Something from an external source makes us feel different emotions. When I think about those moments when you will ask about God, I get nervous. What will I say? What if I mess up the explanation and confuse you. What about when you bully a kid or get bullied and I find out? How will I handle it? Will I be able show you the righteous way to handle it?
I know, the biggest emotion I feel is true, unrivaled anticipation and joy. Just thinking about this huge journey with my boy by my side causes the area around my heart to feel tight, like its about to explode. I lose focus on everything else around me; I don’t realize that someone is talking to me or the car in front of me is putting on the brakes. I find myself day dreaming about us wrestling or running together. Those memories will start collecting soon and we can’t wait. We still have lots to do- make our birthing plan, find a pediatrician, find out when we call/go to the hospital.
This Sunday is Mother’s Day. I will let mom tell you about her day.
Love you, Son