In some ways it has given me access to an exclusive club…. and offered me an endless list of conversation items to share with other Mom’s from pregnancy to diapers to sleep.
On the other hand it has made maintaining the friendship I had pre-kids hard.
I remember pre-kids I would hang out with my friends that had small children and would leave our meetings feeling a little frustrated. Every conversation we tried to start would be quickly interrupted by the little person, making it hard to connect.
On top of that Mom’s love to talk about motherhood. It makes sense… when you are trying to raise tiny humans, are carrying one in your body or both, it’s hard to focus on anything else. You worry. You doubt . You love so hard it’s overwhelming. It kinda just takes over. BUT I remember before I had kids thinking I wouldn’t be that Mom… and now I so am.
Aside from motherhood maybe making it harder to relate with those who aren’t here now… logistics become a major hurdle once you add small children to the mix . My life consists of work, home, kid time, bed- Monday – Friday. I truly love this routine… but I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to do anything different (I tried this week to take Isaac to small group on Thursday.. he was an exhausted basket case). After he has played all day away from Mom he just wants some quality time and rest. Then, of course, weekends get busy… so taking the time to be connected takes a lot more effort these days.
I have learned some things the past 20–ish months I’ve been a Mom… First I have learned to place value on friendship quality not quantity. Pre-kids I was blessed with the chance to spend my evenings with all different folks.. Now I am blessed to connect with a few folks.
I also have found that sometimes friendship comes in ways and places you don’t expect.. I don’t have the chance to go out as much as I once did but I am sure blessed to have some wonderful people to enjoy when I am at work… I know I didn’t appreciate the day to day camaraderie that work can offer nearly as much before baby. Now just having someone to say hi to or complain to about my lack of sleep the night before means a lot.
I am sure as I spend time at home new opportunities to meet and connect differently with people I wouldn’t have expected will arise.. and I am excited just thinking about this! (I like making friends… I can’t help it)
As I reflect I am reminded of the verse, God shall supply all your needs… In this season of life I have found I have needed more time spent at home, I’ve needed to maintain a routine and spend my extra time focused on our family… Though I have had less time to reach out God has been faithful to supply shoulders for me to rely on.. if it’s been my Mom, a co-worker or an old friend… I’ve had just what I’ve needed. I hope as I grow as a Mom I will be able to be a better friend for those around me but in the meantime I am so thankful for God’s faithfulness.
So I encourage you if you are navigating how to find and maintain friendships and balance motherhood… know it may feel lonely at moments but remember– God is faithful.