It seems that from this moment our life together has changed so much. We dove into parenthood eagerly, filled with excitement but with blind eyes to what the road ahead would really feel like. The love captured here has grown but not without some “pains” along the way.
A little over 3 year in and I am just starting to see and accept how parenting roles in our marriage are so different (I’m a slow learner). Parenting takes selflessness… I now know I wasn’t a very selfless person before becoming a Mom.
Every family divides the responsibility of parenthood differently but no matter which way you slice it, being a family requires more of everyone involved. My struggle is that it’s easy to make unfair comparisons and grow jealous of my other half.
I like to become the one who is working the hardest… but even if that’s true, isn’t that my calling and joy at the end of the day? I would never want it any other way. I need to empathize and see that we both are being pushed beyond ourselves.
I share this because I am starting to accept that our roles are never going to look the same. In many ways I always will have to make more physical and emotional sacrifice for our family… while there are many moments I have felt the weight of this call to be overwhelming, I know every part of it has been worthwhile… Why do I waste time resenting my helper for the sometimes hard road I have embraced? I have to move past comparison and embrace empathy, unity, mercy and see I am a critical part of our family team.
I know this probably will be a struggle that follows us through our journey as parents, after all it’s just human nature. Nonetheless, I am thankful that grace has begun to open my eyes to a better way. I pray that as we grow I will see my sacrifice as value and my husbands efforts as gold, both to be appreciated and not to be compared.
I also hope that if you find yourself often stuck in this same rut you will find the same grace to move ahead.