The past few years I’ve started the practice of writing a letter for my children giving them a little insight into my world on my birthday. What prompted this was me wondering what my Mom thought and felt at my age and while she often tells me about her younger years but inevitably we loose track of the exact details of our lives. Here is my most recent letter as I just turned 30!
For me the lead up to 30 felt hard. Life goes fast. This is a reality that has hit me hard as I’ve reached the milestone of starting a new decade of my life and as I watch my babies grow so quickly before my eyes. I’ve had to search my heart and the word to know that my eternal destination is secure. One thing I am sure of is that I will fade away in what will seem like tomorrow. No matter how many years I’m given it won’t feel like a long enough. Ultimately my time is not my own. I must find peace knowing I’m using what I’m given well and that I’ll be ready to meet Jesus when he calls me to Him.
I’ve also observed that as time passes I’ve yet to feel any older and only minimally wiser! Ha. I thought that at thirty you should feel “mature” “together” or something like that. I still feel like a kid– just with bills and a family. Which is probably the best way to be!… I only start feeling “old” when life gets too serious and life is too short to be bogged down with worry or seriousness.
Aside from my emotional journey as I accept becoming a 30 year old, life is so sweet in this moment. My girl! Oh my. She is perfection. I’m drinking in her baby sweetness. This season with a fresh baby is so intense. So much love. Each first is beautiful to watch. Seriously there is nothing more precious than having your sleeping babe on your chest. Each of my children have taught me so much about God’s goodness and love for us. When I watch her grow and smile and hold her squishy body I am sure that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Having a girl is a new sort of joy! Headbands, ruffle butts and the shoes! I love it all. I also look forward to seeing what our mother/daughter relationship is going to look like. I love my Mom so discovering how it’ll feel to be her Mom is an exciting journey for me!
The boys. Just listening to them talk, watching them explore and seeing them love each other fills my heart to the brim! My sweet teddy bear but he also is learning how to share his thoughts and opinions in more and more sophisticated ways. He follows his brother everywhere and relishes their playtime together. He still loves his blanky, toy vacuum, phones and accessories of all varieties. My oldest is becoming a kid. He plays pretend constantly, making his hands into airplanes and dragons. He loves Toothless the dragon and Rescue Bots. He is so kind and thoughtful. HE LOVES HIS SISTER. He realized he can carry her and it’s his favorite along with making her smile. We are so proud of them both. They truly are already becoming such kind and thoughtful people.
I pray my children grow to love the Lord with all their hearts and love others just as Jesus loved. My prayer for me is that in this year of life I help guide them in doing these things.
Brent. We just celebrated 9 years of marriage and man things have just gotten better. I am not sure how I got so lucky to find such an amazing partner. He loves me so well. I love him with my whole heart. It’s amazing to discover how deeply you can grow to care for someone as the years pass. When you are young and in love you are only scratching the surface of what it is to truly care for each other. Each year and new set of experiences good and bad we go through together only adds another layer to the depth of love we share. It truly amazes me! I pray we get so many more years together. He is my best friend and I love doing life with him.
Beyond our family my life now is blessed to be littered with amazing extended family and friends. God has provided so much love and joy in this time. I am so thankful for His amazing grace in our lives. He is my guide through all my ups and downs. I pray that in my 30’s I find a way to press into Him more and grow a rock solid faith.