A thing happens in life, you hit ruts.  You have days you want to throw your hands up in the air and just give up…you hope to try something, anything new…. just as long as your not doing the same old thing.

On occasion this impulse, this pulling can nudge us into new spaces.  Push us to take that amazing leap into the unknown.

But sometimes it’s just the devil.

Honestly, it can be hard to tell the difference.  When is discontent a character flaw and when is it a vehicle into a better future?

I had one of those days the other week.  A day when I woke up feeling like I was failing at all the things.  I was so sure I need to change everything… I just knew I wasn’t made for the life I’ve been living.

So, I prayed.

I hate to admit, this isn’t always my first response.  I’m a logical kinda girl.  I like to solve my own problems.  I don’t always consult God, as much as I should.  But, this was one of those I really need help kinda days.  So, I prayed.

I asked that my inclination to give it all up, to take a new course would become the right choice for me.  It seemed like the right path, I mean obviously what I’ve been doing was not working.  Yet, I couldn’t make such a HUGE change without peace. I wanted clarity.  peace..

Guess what! God answered me.  I also hate to admit, I really didn’t expect Him to….  I hoped but me of little faith was unsure I’d hear much back.

Bloom where you are planted

That’s the cheesy, overused phrase that let me know, what I needed to know.

Here’s something I see about the place I’m in… I’m gonna have to learn and grow alongside my kids.  The ones I’m spending, giving so much life to.  This is about me, learning, just as much as it is about me giving.

What else am I this passionate about? 

That was the second question that made my place in my life feel clear again.  What else do I have a greater passion for in my life, in this time, that I’d give my time to?

This helped me so much because it made me see that things could change. (no one likes feeling trapped)  I really could feel like I’m called out of our home and into the world to give elsewhere, at some point.  Right now, there truly is nothing I’d exchange this opportunity for.

There are many days I feel ill equipped for the job I’ve been given but there is nothing else I’ve rather be striving for.

So I share this, first so I’ll remember.  I’ll remember these thoughts that helped me feel like I can grow into the place I’ve been called to.  That helped me evaluate my trajectory.  I think these are thoughts that will help me the next time I’m wondering what the what I’m doing with my life.  I also share because I’m guessing I’m not the only Mom, woman, wife, etc.. that wonders if she’s cut out for the life she’s in.  Moments, even wholes seasons can feel crushingly hard.  Often, it’s hard to really know that your dialed into the right stuff.  Be better than me and ask God before you hit that sinking place. Ask Him to help you know the plans He has.  ❤

Love,

Amanda

 

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