We have officially finished all of our training, almost ALL of our paperwork, and our last home visit is scheduled. We are in the home stretch of the approval process and soon will just be waiting until we get that first life-changing call.
Right now we mostly feel nervous. I am nervous we won’t be able to handle the added stress well as a couple. I am nervous about ruining our schedule. About all the uncertainties that come with opening your home to a child in the foster care system. I am concerned about loosing sleep. About waiting or the chance we won’t have to wait as long as we think. About loving a child and loosing them. About how adding a 4th kid will change the current relationship we have with our biological kids. About answering people’s questions well… And on and on….
I suppose NOW is when faith has to step in. We are doing this mostly due to an undeniable tug on our hearts to love a child or possibly several children that are apart of the “least of these” in our society. Not because we feel so thrilled to throw a monkey wrench into our pretty great lives. We almost daily have to push past our feelings of worry and lean into faith. Faith is believe this is going to turn out good even when a lot of the evidence points to this being rough.
We are praying prayers of faith right now! Pushing ourselves to believe that God can do a good work with our lives and write a good story for the eventual 4th child of ours (and the others we may house along the way). We are believing our sometimes rocky marriage can handle this big change well. That our kids will rise to the occasion of loving this new one and won’t be traumatized by the experience. That God has one child for us to specifically love and call our own.
No matter what step comes next for you, God wants to call us all to a place where we have to pray those faith filled prayers. If it’s believing we can loose the weight that has bogged us down for what feels like forever, for a change in our jobs, for healing, for direction, for hope when we feel hopeless, for our kids, or our community. No matter what our life looks like, apart of being a believer is trusting God to step with us into unknown territories.
May you open your ears to hear what that next step with Jesus is.