I started the practice of writing a reflection with each birthday for me and maybe my kids one day (if they happen to care about such a thing).  I just turned 33 so here is this year in review.

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33.

Another year of life, a great gift. 

This past year has been one filled with growing.  Maybe 32 is the year you start growing up? I’m not sure but I definitely started to deal with some of my demons in a new way. I’ve grown as a wife… striving to be kind, patient, and less self-focused. I’m not a whizz at being a wife yet but I’ve learned a few things.  

As a Mom I’ve begun to come to terms with some of my limitations.  I so wanted to believe I was super Mom… for too many years! All the while drowning in my own fears, depression, and exhaustion.  I have a lot of real limits that get tested daily. Rather than ignore them and get mad at the world, I’m trying to embrace the concept of grace in a new way.  I always thought God was getting a “deal” with me. It’s this year that I realized how wrong I was. How much I need grace, forgiveness, and God’s unconditional love… I’m striving to take care of myself and my people… still failing but finally knowing I need to walk in God’s grace rather than drowning in my own pride-filled quest for perfection. 

These years there has been a tribe growing around me… these people I literally can’t live my life without.  I couldn’t homeschool, be married, write, foster, work, or follow Jesus without these people. Some are family, the number one is my husband, and others are beautiful friends that feel like family.  When I am surrounded by these people their joy, courage, gratitude, faithfulness, and encouragement fuel my soul. Living in a strong faith-filled community is like living in a hug. It’s warm, safe, and makes you feel like you can make it through anything. It’s a gift and privilege to know the people I know and I am 100% better off because of them.

This year starts with a new adventure… we just welcomed a sweet foster baby into our home.  While I’m scared of how this will all go down. My heart is one the line and I’m having to trust  God in a new way in this role.  

My kids are my treasure and focus this time of my life.  They are growing too fast but I’m amazed at the new joys that come as they grow into new seasons of life.  When I look back at those baby pictures the sadness over the time passed is quickly replaced with a gratitude for the memories I’ve been given. I will never forget, each new year is like a treasure written on my heart.  I have no clue how many of these we get to have together, I ask God daily that we will have many but whatever it ends up being I don’t want to forget how good He has been to us.  

Isaac is growing into a strong, smart, capable boy.  I am proud of his passion for learning, his willingness to help others, and the maturity I see blossoming in his character.  Lucas is my snuggly guy. He is growing up a little slower… and I love that about him. He is still happy to be by my side, play outdoors, and just loves life.  Ruthie is my spunky sidekick. She’s a passionate one! Filled with fierce love and is very intelligent. I’m proud of her and am so grateful for my girl.  

Brent, this year He has shown up as my cheerleader in a new way.  He’s leaned into me even when I’ve been difficult and didn’t deserve it.  He’s our hero, a rockstar parent, and pushes me to be a better person daily.  I’m so thankful for his leadership in our home and so proud to be on his team.  

33 is good.  It’s full of LIFE, LOVE, lot’s of messing up too… but God’s grace is proving to be enough for adulthood (despite my many doubts on the matter).  

Can’t wait to see what comes next… my heart has been filled with the message this past week that the best is yet to come. 

 

One thought on “Thirty-Three

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